The Great Immigration Debate

A child cries as his family wait in line in order to get into a reception center for refugees in Opatovac, Croatia

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/europe/refugee-crisis-european-leaders-warned-that-greatest-tide-of-migrants-is-yet-to-come-10515085.html

Immigration, migration and the movement of people across the globe is a topic that is very much in the news right now with hundreds of thousands of immigrants coming out of war-torn Syria, parts of India and Bangladesh, Afghanistan and Pakistan, Lybia to name a few.


Surfing the internet recently I saw a heading that said" the US will take Rohingya Boat People" and another one referencing the same subject headed "Nope, nope, nope Tony Abbott says Australia will take no Rohingya Refugees". These headings and articles made me think about this subject of migration across the globe and how it is used and viewed by people and governments.

I am an immigrant twice over. In 1967, I moved from Bangladesh to England with my family and grew up, was educated and lived there till I moved to America with my British husband in 1987. I am now a dual British citizen and US citizen. I feel extremely lucky to have these two passports because I can travel between the two countries with no problem. Recently I moved back briefly to the UK and almost everyday immigration was being discussed on the news. 

I want to examine the way migration is viewed in the USA, Germany and the UK in particular and how it is also viewed around the world, particularly in Eastern Europe. While listening to a discussion about immigration on Public Radio in Arizona and I heard some very interesting arguments about the subject and it made me think of some of the anti-immigration arguments.  


In the United Kingdom and around Europe now there are  thousands of immigrants coming every day from war-torn countries such as Syria, Afghanistan and Libya. The migrants want a safe haven to call home and are "attracted by Europe's relative peace and prosperity". There is a great article in the Guardian called "10 truths about Europe"s migrant crisis". The United Kingdom says they will take 20,000 over 4 years with Germany and some of the other Western European countries willing to take more Syrian migrants in a shorter space of time. 

Other countries, particularly in Eastern Europe such as Hungary, Poland, Serbia and Croatia have been less welcoming.  In an article in the US News and Word Report called "Tension Between Eastern and Western Europe is complicating the response to an influx of migrants." I see this reaction from Eastern Europe as massive hypocrisy when I know thousands of Eastern Europeans  have emigrated to countries like the UK to better their own lives economically. When these countries joined the European Union they pledged to support "European values" such as xenophobia, open markets, open borders, transparent press and media, cultural diversity, open-mindedness, protection of minorities. 

In reality, these Eastern European governments have done nothing of the sort and their societies are full of corruption, oligarchs, cronyism, no freedom of the press. Many people such as in Poland don't think they can share anything with the migrants. They also do not accept racial and ethnic diversity. A September 12th New York Times article by Rick Lyman says "Unlike countries in Western Europe, which have a long history of accepting immigrants  from diverse cultures, former communist states tend to be highly homogeneous, Poland for example, is 98% white and 94% catholic.  

Germany has welcomed the migrants and pledged to take around 800,000 of them, pledging to send $6.7 billion on dealing with them. Austria and Sweden, Denmark have also been welcoming. Rallies in Denmark and Germany have shown support for accepting migrants in large numbers. Why is it that there is such a divide in the attitude of the Eastern and western Europeans?

They conclude that "Eastern Europeans think they are the ones to be helped that was a promise of the unification( of the European Union). Being poorer than western Europe they point out, how can anyone expect solidarity from us?"  The Eastern Europeans feel threatened by the Arab migrants and see them as an Islamic threat to Christian Europe. "There is a general anxiety over the unfamiliar." While Germany sees migrants as a possible boon to their future economic power countries like Hungary see them a massive Islamic threat.

“The countries that have very little diversity are the most virulent against refugees." said Andrew Strohlein, European media director forHuman Rights Watch.
Since the fall of communism, these Eastern European countries have not seen great changes in their economic prosperity. Also unlike the Western Europeans these countries have no colonial past and do not feel any obligation to migrants coming from Muslim countries. 


Today the Pope addressed the issue of immigrants. The Wall Street Journal sums it up "The Pope addressed immigration in a less confrontational way than he has done in Europe, where he has denounced indifference to the fate of migrants who have drowned trying to cross the Mediterranean. He instead appealed to the foreign heritage of most of his listeners, identifying himself as the “son of immigrants, knowing that so many of you are also descended from immigrants.”

“On this continent, too, thousands of persons are led to travel north in search of a better life,” he said. “Is this not what we want for our own children?”

I am not an expert in this field and wrote this article to provoke some discussion and thoughts on the ever poignant subject which is in the news. We just need to examine how we would feel if we were in the shoes of those in the migrants themselves.

Various ways with chili.

Chili is a dish that can be cooked many different ways.  It can be made with a wide variety of meats, beans and vegetables. Gone are the days of plain old "chili con carne".
There are still the traditional ones with beef and beans but there are also versions now with chicken, white beans, barbecue sauce and soupier versions.
Here are 4 of my favorites.

Traditional meat chili

1 lb of lean ground beef

I large onion chopped

4large cloves of garlic minced

1 large can of kidney beans drained
I large can chopped tomatoes
8oz of water

2tsp chili powder
1 tsp chili flakes

2 tsp cumin

2 tsp coriander powder

1 green bell pepper chopped.
2 large serrano or jalapeño peppers.
2 tablespoons of cooking oil.
Salt and pepper to taste.
2oz chopped fresh cilantro

Method

Fry the onions and garlic, making sure they don't brown. Add the beef to the mixture and sauté for a few minutes till the meat is seared and add the spices, stirring constantly.

Add the drained beans and tomatoes after about 5 minutes and then the water. Turn up the heat and let it come to a boil but stir occasionally to make sure the mixture is not sticking to the bottom of the pan. Add the salt and pepper to taste.
Cook on high to bring to a boil band then reduce heat to simmer for about and hour. Add the serrano or jalapeño for added heat and cook for a further 15 minutes.
Add chopped cilantro just before serving in individual bowls and freshly grated cheddar and serve with sour cream and rice if desired.

Smokey White bean chicken Chili

In this recipe you add some smokey barbecue flavor to the chicken by adding barbecue sauce. 

2 large chicken breasts chopped into medium cubes 

1 medium sized onion chopped 

4 large cloves of garlic minced

1 large can of white haricot or navy beans drained
I large can chopped tomatoes
8oz of chicken stock
8 oz water

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp coriander powder

1 red bell pepper chopped.
2 large serrano or jalapeño peppers.
2 tablespoons of cooking oil.
2oz of barbecue sauce
Salt and pepper to taste.
2 oz chopped fresh cilantro.
8 oz grated cheese.

Method

Heat the oil in a large saucepan and add the onions and garlic and diced red peppers.
Turn the heat down so the onions and garlic don't brown. Add the chicken and sauté and add the spices and stir constantly. Take the chicken out of the pan and set aside.
Add the drained beans and tomatoes to the pan after about 5 minutes and then the chicken stock, barbecue sauce & water. Turn up the heat and let it come to a boil. Add the salt and pepper to taste.
Cook on high to bring to a boil and then reduce heat to simmer for about and hour until the liquid is about half of what it was originally. Make sure to stir periodically and don't let it burn. Add the serrano or jalapeño for added heat and add the chicken back in the pan and cook for a further 10 minutes.
Add chopped cilantro just before serving in individual bowls and freshly grated cheddar and serve with rice if desired.

White chicken chili

Vegetarian Chili

1 medium sized onion chopped 

4 large cloves of garlic minced
I cup chopped mushrooms

1 large can each of pinto beans and black beans drained and a white bean like navy beans if desired.
I cup of corn
I large can chopped tomatoes
8oz of chicken or vegetable stock
8 oz water

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp coriander powder

1 Large green & large red bell pepper chopped.
2 large serrano or jalapeño peppers.
3 tablespoons of cooking oil.
Salt and pepper to taste.
2 oz chopped fresh cilantro.
8 oz grated cheese.

Method

 Heat the oil in a large saucepan and add the onions, garlic, mushrooms and diced peppers. Turn the heat down so the onions and garlic don't brown. Add both cans of beans and sauté, add the spices and stir constantly.
Add the tomatoes after about 5 minutes and then the water and stock. Turn up the heat and let it come to a boil. Add the salt and pepper to taste.
Cook on high to bring to a boil, stir and then reduce heat to simmer for about and hour till the mixture is thick but chunky. Add the serrano or jalapeño for added heat and cook for a further 15 minutes. Stir part way through to make sure it is not sticking to the bottom of the pan.
Add chopped cilantro just before serving in individual bowls and freshly grated cheddar and serve with corn bread, corn chips or rice if desired.

Vegetarian chili

Chili and Corn Soup

1 medium sized onion chopped 

4 large cloves of garlic minced

1 large can each of pinto and white beans drained
2 cups of corn
I large can chopped tomatoes
12 oz of chicken or vegetable stock
8 oz water

2 tsp chili powder

2 tsp cumin

1 tsp coriander powder

1 green, red & orange  bell pepper chopped.
1 large serrano and jalapeño peppers.
3 tablespoons of cooking oil.
Salt and pepper to taste.
2 oz chopped fresh cilantro.
8 oz grated cheese.

Method 

Heat the oil in a large saucepan and add the onions, garlic, corn & diced peppers. Turn the heat down so the onions and garlic don't brown. Add both cans of beans and sauté, add the spices and stir constantly.
Add the tomatoes after about 5 minutes and then the water and stock. Turn up the heat and let it come to a boil. Add the salt and pepper to taste.
Cook on high to bring to a boil band then reduce heat to simmer for about and hour till the mixture is thick. Add extra chicken stock if desired to make it runnier.
Add the serrano or jalapeño for added heat, stir and cook for a further 15 minutes.
Add chopped cilantro just before serving in individual bowls and fresh;y grated cheddar and serve with  corn chips or rice if desired.

All of these recipes are adaptable and you can vary the spices according to your taste and add the accompaniments like rice, tacos, chips, chopped cilantro and green or red chills if you desire.

Grandparents as parents.

While I write this I am aware that every family is different and all cases vary. As the cost of living has gone up and more and more women have gone out to work Grandparents have taken over the job of primary carer of the children. There are many reasons why a grand parent may be raising a child as opposed to the parents. The most extreme reasons could be death of the parents, other reasons could be a lack of parenting ability or neglect on the part of the parent for reasons such as drug and alcohol  abuse, parents may be incarcerated, ill or in the military and the most popular reason would be just to babysit so the parents are able to go to work. Grand parents provide the stability  and security of home for their families.

In the UK according to an article by the TUC in 2013 nearly 7 million grandparents were looking after their grand children in one way or another. According to the 2010 US census 4.9 million children under the age of 18 lived with Grand parents. I want to explore what influence grand parents have on their grand children and why in my opinion if you can spend more quality time with your child you must make that an absolute priority even if you have a busy job.

My focus will be on the children whose parents go to work to further their careers or just to support their family and leave their children in the care of grandparents. Not long ago a friend of mine told me that she didn't want her 4 year old daughter in the care of her mother in law any more while she went to her work as a Pharmacist because the little girl was beginning to speak exactly the way her grand mother spoke! The grand mother was from India so spoke English with an Indian accent and the child was mimicking the grand mother's speech. My friend was lucky as her husband had a good job so she cut down her work hours so she could spend more time with her daughter. She also put her in a playgroup so the child could become more socialized with her peers.

For  all the love our parents bestow on us and our children the love of a grand parent is different than the love of a parent. Grand parents grew up in a different era than the parents and what shaped their beliefs and personalities will of course be completely different than the parents. I have closely observed children who are brought up primarily by parents and brought by grand parents. Parents tend to discipline children more than grand parents who tend to indulge their grand children and let things slide which should receive attention.

 I remember a friend's teen aged son was living with his grand mother because she didn't want to leave her elderly mother alone. The arrangement was consensual between all three members of the family and my friend lived alone as she was separated from her husband. So every Monday this boy would decide to have a sick day from school. Now I am not saying that kind of thing doesn't happen when a child lives with his parents because it occasionally happened at my house when my son would decide he was sick and have a day off school. However my friend's son would take a sick day every Monday until finally the school called the grand mother and she had to have a word with her daughter who then spoke to her son and they decided he was being sick too often!
 This friend also comes home late on many evenings and told her Mother that she is working late. When she comes home to eat her evening meal she will be dressed in evening wear which means she's had an evening put with her friends and not working late.

 You would think that this person would want to be with her child at the weekends right? Well guess what? Neither parent is anywhere near the child at the weekends and he is to be found just loafing around his grand mother's house. When he would go out and not come home for any reason the grand mother would be distressed and worried about him. Is that the elderly grand mother's job or is the parent's job. Why should an elderly person be worried because a teenager is staying out too late?

I'm not saying you should never go out with friends and have a life which in part is outside your family.   Also the grand mother is very willing to look after the child. However if you are capable and your children are still impressionable and vulnerable you should spend quality time with them. Just because you know your elderly mother can and will be there for your son it doesn't mean you should ignore him day after day! When this child child grows up who will he remember as his primary care giver? Will he remember his mother or his grand mother? In my opinion he will remember his grand mother and she will get the credit for bringing him up!

In my own case my children have seen their grand parents every summer and have a great bond and sense of loyalty with them. They see their grandparents with affection, respect and love. I was lucky that I didn't need to go to work outside the home and never really had to leave my kids with anyone outside the home unless I felt like it. However when I did I made sure I spent time on my children when I could at every given opportunity.

Although I think each person is an individual in my role as a Mother I always wanted to help mold my children. To this day my kids remember little details of things they did with me and relish seer little memories of their childhood with their family and friends. I felt every minute I spent with each of my kids was a gift to me and the child. It did not mean I for got that my child needed friends their own age and needed to socialize and it didn't mean I didn't have friends of my own who I enjoyed spending time with. I will reiterate that I wanted to be the primary influence on my child. I didn't want them to form their opinions from other people. However that is just how I felt and obviously isn't what everyone else feels. Of course now my kids are older they are fiercely independent and want to make their own decisions without my input and I am proud of that.

There are many benefits of the child interacting with it's grand parents and of course I am not against grand parents helping to bring up grandchildren and supporting their own child by providing day care. However  I can't condone people who relinquish the care of their children to their own mother or father because it's convenient however willing the grandparents are to get involved. Grand parents should remain just what the name implies and no more unless there are extreme circumstances!

Haters gonna Hate!

I'm sure everyone has heard of Taylor Swift's huge hit song "Shake it off". I absolutely love this song because I truly believe in it's message as it reminds me of some incidents I have encountered in my life and what people have to do to "shake it off". However sometimes when you can't  just "Shake it off" there has to be intervention if things get beyond a certain point and this story shows how "Haters" some times have to be dealt with.

Work place bullying is present in a lot of places and many people have to put up being bullied in their daily lives. Many people are taunted, teased, harassed, and called names and can be a bit irritating but perhaps not enough to report the incidents as abuse. I read that almost half of workers in the US say they encounter some form of bullying in their jobs but it is not reported or dealt with.Bullying can lead to people feeling stressed, insecure and intimidated. There are many ways to deal with it ad the first is to  try to resolve it privately but when that doesn't work the employer or  senior management has a huge responsibility to do some thing about it so it doesn't get out of hand.

A few years ago I was working at an office in Michigan and I encountered what jealousy and hatred can do to people and how it can ruin people if you allow it to get out of hand. The environment I worked in was one where the whole room, and actually the whole organization, was full of women doing clerical and administrative work for a large public company. A number of the workers  had been together in the same jobs in this department for many years and without realizing they felt a "right" to these jobs and resented anyone who was new in their "space". So I was new and a couple of other women were transferred from other parts of the company. The management of the company had no idea but our lives were going to be made hellish because of their decisions and the employees who had been there previously.

One of my colleagues was a very innocent right winged Republican, Christian lady around the same age as me. She believed what she believed and was incredulous when anyone came up with new ideas or thought differently from her. She was a devout church goer and believed that everything she was told by her pastor in his sermons every Sunday. Her lack of experience led her to believe that everyone who had a different faith just had to be converted to her religion, then they would be just fine but other than that she was a complete sweetheart!

However she was kind, a loving person and a dear sweet friend and we enjoyed one another's company but sometimes she was so off track I couldn't believe it. I was talking to a young intern one day about Dan Brown's best seller The Da Vinci Code and she came in and said to the intern "Don't read that book!It's about Satanism!" I said "Well if it is, it's up to him if he wants to read it and then he can decide for himself as he's an intelligent young man." When I said I was doing yoga at the gym her reply was I will never do yoga and when asked why she said it was like praying! Yoga has caught o like wild fire in the USA and there's a yoga studio in every town and main street in America now so a lot of people in the USA must be praying!

It was my friend's innocence and sincere belief in her own convictions that lead to witnessing one of most bizarre incidences of pure hatred and bullying in my life! So my friend would be innocently giving everyone her talk about God and Christianity and this lead to some pretty interesting behavior from some of the co workers, especially three friends who all worked together. These three truly believed that they ran and owned the whole department. They would pick on little things my friend said and did over the course of a few years and bully her about it. Petty things about the smell of her coffee, the way she did her work, what she ate for lunch, her tardiness, her family life were all targets for ridicule. Everyday there were nasty, snide comments and criticism about every action and every deed.

 It stemmed in particular from 3 good friends who had worked in the department and had been in the same jobs for about 10 years. One was the supervisor for the whole department and the other two were her best buddies who also joined in the fun against their co worker. One of these women, (call her Trixy) was particularly rude, bitter and thoughtless in her actions. She openly bullied everyone and different people had to go through periods of being bullied by her but she especially picked on my friend.

This behavior was never reprimanded by our Supervisor (call her Wilma). The third person (call her Casey) couldn't decide whether she wanted to be mean or nice and fluctuated between the two. Occasionally they would try to get other people in the office in on the action and try to get them to bully their co worker in a pack but a lot of people didn't want to get involved or condone the behavior of the bullies no matter how silly they thought my friend's beliefs were so they just got on with their work.

Gradually the behavior went all the way to the attention of management who noticed little comments and complaints made by the Gang of bullies. It was even being spread through malicious gossiping that my friend was having and affair with another male co worker and both were hauled upstairs to a high up management in the administrative department. Both my friend and the other worker were married. My friend was now feeling the full effects of the bullying and told me she felt suicidal! My heart just bled for her.

 The managers decided to do something about it when my friend started to be bullied relentlessly and some comments started being floated around the whole office very carelessly. Bullying and harassment are not to be taken lightly in the work place. If a worker is bullied and harassed and they file a complaint or sue the company then lots of people can be held accountable so the management of this firm decided to nip the behavior in the bud and put a stop to it. Thank Goodness the managers decided to do this.

There was an enquiry and investigation in to the bullying allegations. Everyone in the department had to be interviewed one by one and everything about the interviews was kept confidential.Even I had to give evidence of what I had seen and heard. No one talked about what was asked by the management and what was said to them individually. Even I was interviewed but luckily I was leaving my job to relocate to Germany so I didn't have to deal with the subsequent consequences.

The way the management dealt with Casey, Trixy and Wilma was to demote each of them and spread them apart throughout the office building away from each other. They were humiliated  but escaped being fired which I thought was really kind.  However my friend got an apology from them and I hope they are sorry to this day and not resentful towards her. I wonder if they realized the stupidity and pathetic behavior they were displaying! I also hope they learned their lesson that some one is watching and listening to bad behavior  and you are responsible for what you say that might hurt or harm others.

So just like Taylor Swift says the 'haters are gonna hate" but some times we have to just "shake it off" however if it gets out of hand and continues there has to be some other higher intervention! We owe it to ourselves as responsible adults to respect our fellow workers and mind our own businesses and get on with our work and our own lives! If you are the person being bullied then you need to stand up for yourself, go to your superior or your HR department and asked them to get involved. If nothing is done you can quit and file a claim with a lawyer if it is serious enough.No job is worth harming your mental health or peace of mind.

Hotel from Hell

 Having the the good fortune to travel all over America, Asia and Europe is not to be taken lightly or something to be taken for granted. Even before my days as an Expat I travelled all over Europe and across America. Through this time I've stayed in hostels, motels, inns and hotels. I can't remember how we booked hotels in the 80's and 90's but when I went island hopping to Greece in my student days I remember we literally got off the ferry and people were waiting  to rent us a room. 99% of the time we were lucky and got a lovely place to stay but a couple of times we would be unlucky and ended up having to sleep on a roof under the stars!

Whilst living in Europe and Asia I was lucky enough to stay in some of the finest hotels in the world such as the Kempinski and Hyatt hotels. If you've been lucky then you will have experienced some of the loveliest resorts such as the Indigo Pearl Resort in Phuket which is like something out of a dream. Not only is it in a stunning location at Naiyang beach in Phuket but the accommodations, decor and service are second to none and it definitely deserves it's 5 star rating. I have also experienced 3 Star hotels in cities like Beijing, China and Krakow in Poland which were clean and adequate but reasonably priced and had everything you need for a good night's rest and good accommodation and breakfast included.

These days travel agents are not as popular as before and there are so many internet travel and leisure sites such as Travelocity, Booking.com and Expedia or Hotwire.com that you can look any hotel up before you book, see it's location, what people's experiences are  and photos before you decide whether to book the hotel Well last summer I discovered why it's so important to read the reviews and comments closely and diligently that are offered by websites because I was not paying attention to what I was doing and ended up having an experience with the hotel from Hell!

We had to go to New York to drop my daughter off at university so I set my husband and daughter on the task of getting us a hotel. Initially we were to be there for 7 days when the 3 of us would need accommodation till my daughter was settled in her dorm room. I very negligently lost track of what was going on out of laziness or maybe complacency rather than disinterest. All I knew was my daughter was off on the adventure of a lifetime living and studying in New York City and I wanted her to have the best start possible.

 On the plane I couldn't stop thinking about a comfortable bed and nice hotel that was awaiting me at the end of my journey. I kept asking my daughter if the booking was ok and sure enough she said she booked through Booking.com and  showed me a photo of our room and confirmation of the reservation. We had to have at least 2 beds because my husband was coming to join us and that's what the confirmation and reservation print out showed so that is what I expected. The other thing to remember was the university is located in one area of Manhattan and our hotel was booked on the Upper East Side. At that time I had no idea what that really meant.

Central Park

Upon our arrival we took a shuttle bus to the hotel on the Upper East Side. Immediately as we got out of the  shuttle bus the driver charged us extra money because he said we were at a private residence and I thought Oh heck! The building  where the hotel was supposed to be located looked just like a regular house on a New york City street but it was when we went in that I got a complete and utter shock! Outside on the door of the "hotel"it said the name in really small letters.

When we entered there was a small shabby office and an equally dowdy girl sitting there. We introduced ourselves and she looked at the booking confirmation and to my utmost dismay she said "We don't have that room but we have another room for you". We said that won't work and I wondered why they didn't have the room we had reserved. Wasn't the piece of paper our "confirmation"? I said "Just a minute if you book a room and promise to pay almost $2000 for 7 nights shouldn't the hotel "reserve that specific room for you"? Her reply was "No". They had clearly given our room to some one else!

I was so tired from the journey I couldn't think straight and asked her to show us the room which was on the first floor and when I saw the room I nearly had a heart attack! $2000 for a room that looked like a dirty old kitchen with a bed in it! All I could think of was "what a disaster this was!"It was already 8pm and I was about to drop from exhaustion. I went out again and tried to speak to the girl at the reception but she said we would have to speak to the Manager and gave us the phone number. We left our things  in the room and went to a local Pizza restaurant because by this time we were pretty hungry.

Whilst we were eating I called my husband and told him what a disaster it was and although we'd clearly booked a room with two double beds for 3 people as was evidenced by the  booking confirmation in our possession the hotel had given the room to someone else! We were left with one double bed in a horrible room. How could we possibly stay there and be cheated out of all our money and not get the hotel room we were promised?

Outside the New York Palace Hotel

We returned to the hotel and my daughter spoke to the manager and telling him that she had booked the double room on Booking.com. The Manager was rude, loud and threatening towards her and said we had to basically stay in the room we were given for 7 days and pay the $2000, take what we were given and would definitely not  get the room we were promised or our money back!

We phoned my husband again and this was his suggestion. He had also read the reviews for the Hotel which we will call the "Lacy Inn Hotel". He had researched it and the reviews were, not surprisingly, mostly terrible ! He told me to phone the credit card company and tell them that we were not getting what we paid for and there is a provision in the law to protect the consumer and dispute the charge if you do not get the goods you are paying for. We also called Booking.com and told them our situation. They agreed we should get what we paid for but were not up for helping us right there. I did not realize I could have actually made them help us get another hotel right then but I only found out later that this was an option.

When we were trying to sleep in the room things just went from bad to worse. The bathroom was filthy and had human hairs all over and the bath wouldn't drain. My daughter and I sat on the bed and cried! People kept knocking on our room door all night because no one was at the reception so they thought that was the office. This was one of the worst nightmarish nights I have ever had. I did not want to be mean to my daughter but I had put a huge responsibility in the hands of an inexperienced teenaged girl so it was all my fault and I had to own up to my failure.

The next morning we went for breakfast and I called my credit card company and I will be grateful to them for the rest of my life. They said we were to go back to the hotel, pack up our luggage, go to another hotel and they would refund our money and launch a dispute because by law you have to receive the goods you were promised if you pay for something in advance! I breathed a huge sigh of relief, went back to the hotel and packed.

We went to the front desk and they were finally there and we told them we were leaving! The rude manager guy said I had to sign some papers and he had spoken to Booking.com and we would still have to pay and Booking.com thought the room was fine and that we were not getting the room from the confirmation. As I knew the credit card company and the law were on my side I very calmly signed the papers and left the hotel and taxied to another part of Manhattan.

We got another deal through Booking.com and went to a hotel called the New York Palace on Madison Avenue and 50th about 10 blocks from Central Park and across from St. Patrick's Cathedral. I wasn't aware at the time but this hotel is very famous because it was used as the residence of the main actress Blake Lively in her character as Serena Van der Woodsen or Gossip Girl. We were greeted by a fantastic employee who worked for the hotel and also happened to come from Bangladesh. It was about the same price as the "Lacy Inn Hotel"but worlds apart in location, service and the room was like heaven with two massive comfortable beds and a clean, beautiful bathroom and the views were amazing!

The rest of our trip was really smooth and when we mentioned to the hotel staff that my daughter was an NYU student we were treated like two princesses! The staff was courteous, helpful and beyond any reproach. We were able to transition our daughter comfortably in to her new university life and enjoy our stay in New York City.

After the trip was over I reviewed the two hotels on Booking .com and Trip advisor as they actually ask you to do this if they know you stayed at the hotel. I said the "Lacy Inn" was the Hotel from Hell, that is to be avoided at all cost and the New York Palace was amazing! I got a reply from the Manger of the New York Place thanking me for the review and all I can say is I don't have to lie about how well we were treated and what a great hotel it was because it speaks for itself!

 I have read online reviews of the hellish hotel on all the travel websites and out of a possible 10 points it receives a 5.5 which is pretty bad. The good hotels have rating of between 7.5 to above 8. I had to wait till November to get final word from the credit card company that my money was definitely refunded from the dispute with the "Lacy Inn" and we could keep it as they hadn't even replied to the letter from the credit card company to defend themselves!

What lesson is learned from this almost disastrous trip? I found out that in popular destinations hotels often double book rooms. Do your research before you set off and check and double check the hotel, check the booking and phone the hotel before you leave for your destination to make sure your reservation is confirmed! Also call the booking company and make sure they stand by the booking because they take your credit card number and should help you get what you are paying for. The law is on your side so you make sure you get the best deal you can and get what you paid for. I will definitely be more careful next time I book a trip and make hotel reservations!

Fusion Dinner Party

What do you do when you have friends from all over the world and as a welcoming host you want to please everyone but offend no one? In the last nine years I've lived in 4 different countries and travelled to about 25 other countries picking up food ideas and friends along the way.

Entertaining and cooking are my passions so anytime there's an opportunity for me to show off my cooking skills it's great. My husband has colleagues from all over the world and sometimes he wants to invite them for dinner and I take the opportunity to really impress them. Most of my recipes are tried and tested but I don't really have measurements or quantities and anyone who makes the following dishes should prepare them according to their wishes and their particular circumstances.

So what does a menu contain that pleases your guests who may be from several different countries including America, India, Vietnam, Indonesia and maybe Muslim, Hindu, vegetarian or vegan or simply happy to be invited. Of course if you have Muslim guests then you would have Halal meat and if you have Hindu guests then you don't serve red meat. If your guests include vegans then it's important to cook the completely vegetarian food first and keep it seperate from the food that you prepare with meat or fish.
Here is a sample of fusion food I might make for my guests when tastes and dietary requirements are varied for a lunch or dinner party. I will pick a few of the items and share the recipes.

Menu for Fusion Dinner Party

Vegetarian Noodle Salad
Corn Tortilla chicken lasagna
Beetroot and apple salad
Lentil and vegetable curry
Salmon with home made green curry sauce.
Cod and potato fish cakes.
Asparagus quiche
Pulao rice

Recipes

Asian vegetable and noodle salad. 

Asian noodle and vegetable salad

1 8oz Package of noodles cooked and cooled.
1 cup of peas
10 cherry tomatoes quartered
3 sprigs of green onions chopped.
1 bunch of cilantro(fresh coriander)chopped
4oz cooked green peas
4 oz of cooked green beans chopped small
3 Green & red chills diced
Lettuce leaves for decorating
fried tofu cut into small pieces

Dressing
Juice of one lemon
1 tbs of soy sauce
1 tbsp of chili oil
1tbsp of sesame oil
1tbs fish sauce(optional)
1tsp brown sugar
2 tsp salt
Mix all the dressing ingredients together.
Place all the above ingredients  in a bowl and add the dressing ingredients in the bowl and combine tossing all together so dressing is mixed in with the vegetables and noodles.
Arrange the lettuce on a serving platter and put the salad on the lettuce leaves as pictured above.

Cod Fish Cakes

8 oz cooked  cod or 1 8oz tin of tuna drained

1 large bunch cilantro chopped fine

1small onion chopped

6 medium sized new potatoes boiled and mashed

1 large jalapeño chili chopped

Cod fish cakes

salt and pepper to taste.

1 egg beaten and put in a bowl. 

Method

Mix all the above in a mixing bowl except the beaten egg

Put in 2 tablespoons of oil in a shallow frying pan.

Make the fish and potato mixture  into medium sized balls and flatten

dip in the egg and fry on high then turned down to medium.

Fry each patty till golden and turn

Put on a kitchen paper and then serving dish.

Beet and Apple Salad

Beet and Apple salad

Cut the apples and beet roots into cubes
cut the cucumber in to small pieces
Tarragon chopped fine
green onions chopped small
 Make dressing with lemon juice tarragon and mustard mix together. 
Serve in a bowl.

The salmon was baked with a green curry paste which I made with green chillis, lime juice, cilantro, onions and lemon grass,salt and pepper to taste, blended in a food processor and poured over the salmon with some olive oil and baked till the salmon is cooked through.

The corn and chicken lasagna is made with corn tortillas instead of the normal pasta lasagna.

DESSERT

Key Lime pie

Apple tart 

Trifle

Bakewell tart.

An assortment of pies and quiche

Recipes

 Bakewell tart

Preheat the oven to 325*F

Buy a ready made vegetable oil pie shell 

Bake the pie shell for about 10 minutes and take it out of the oven and let it cool. 

FILLING

Rasberry or any favourite flavor jam.

Put 2 tablespoons of jam in the pie shell, spread it in the bottom and set aside.

1 and 1/2 sticks of butter ( room temperature)

3/4 cup of sugar

3 eggs(room temperature)

6oz of ground almonds

2oz of self raising flour

zest of 1 lemon

2 teaspoons flaked almonds

Cream the butter and sugar together till pale colored in a glass mixing bowl

Beat the eggs and add gradually to the sugar and butter till mixed

Add the lemon zest

Add the ground almonds to the mixture and mix till creamy 

Fold in the self raising flour and carefully mix till completely mixed 

Pour the  wet mixture in to the pastrycase

Sprinkle extra almonds on top of the cake mixture

Put into the pre heated oven and bake on the top shelf for about 40 minutes till a tooth pick comes out clean from the middle of the cake.

Open Faced Fruit tart.

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees.

Ready made pastry thawed and placed in a baking dish.

2 cups Frozen berries 
4oz sugar
Pull some of the pastry over the fruit but keep some peaking out.
Bake for about 40 minutes till fruit is bubbling.

This is a sample menu of what I might serve to a mixture of guests with varying tastes and varying dietary requirements. Next time you throw a dinner party you may try this or a variation on these ideas.

Comfort Food that Spans Across Cultures.

What's your favorite comfort food? Is it macaroni and cheese, fish and chips or meatloaf and mashed potatoes? For a Bangladeshi it might be a plate of rice and dhal or if you are from Mexico it could be Tamales. Then again it could be plate of Spaghetti Bolognese, Pizza or even Paella even if you're not Italian or Spanish. Whatever it is I know that every country has food that makes people feel nostalgic and gives them a sense of comfort and being home.

 When I lived in South Korea I found that most Koreans don't eat the western version of breakfast. Although bread is eaten there widely nowadays, especially by young people, it is definitely an import as is coffee. For example the word for bread in Korean is "Ppang" which is clearly Pain which is the French word for bread. Bakeries are also becoming more popular and Seoul's best bakeries bear French names like "Paris Baguette" and "Paris Croissant". The bread made is definitely a "twist' on Western baking such red beans or sweet potato fillings in the bread.

Koreans are more likely to eat food at breakfast time that can be eaten at any other part of the day. It could include, rice, soup, meat and the full selection of side dishes such as Kim Chi.When I lived there amongst other dishes I ate some porridge that was so delicious and it made me feel really comfortable and happy when I ate it. Congee is a rice porridge and people make it at home all the time but is also popular at restaurants. I found out later different versions are eaten in many countries throughout the world such as China, Japan, Philippines, Vietnam, Turkey,Thailand, Portugal  and Bangladesh to name a few places!

After exploring some Congee recipes from a few different Asian countries and the varying accompaniments that go with it apparently each country seems to have their own variation of this rice porridge and there seem to be endless varieties. It is one of the most traditional foods in China and has been eaten for centuries. The basic recipe is rice cooked until it disintegrates after being cooked for a long time with lots of water. When eaten as plain rice porridge it is served with side dishes. The word Congee is actually derived from Tamil and originated as "Kanji". In Bengali it is called "Jaou" which I read originates from the Chinese character"Zhou" which means gruel. In Korea it is called Juk which is apparently from a Cantonese word.

Here are a few different recipes and variations of Congee.
The basic recipe can be made with
1 cup of rice
10 cups of water
1 teaspoon of salt.
You bring the water and rice to boil and turn the heat down to medium or low and place the lid but allow the steam to escape.
Then stir the rice till it becomes the texture of creamy porridge.

Accompaniments in the Chinese version could include tiny anchovies, cilantro, peanuts, chicken, mushrooms or green onions, or some other type of shredded meat and corn.

 A popular Korean variation is Beef and mushroom porridge. It can also be made with many other vegetables or with chicken. When made with chicken it is called " Dakjuk" and with beef "Soegogi juk". The chicken variation has julienned pieces of fresh ginger.

 Congee is also popular in the Indian Subcontinent as in the Sylhet region of Bangladesh version where it is served with chola or spicy chick peas for Iftar during Ramadhan.

In Southern Indian states such as Tamil Nadu and Kerala Muslims break their Ramadhan fast with Nombu Kanji which is a version of Congee cooked for hours with meat, lentils and vegetables, mint leaves, cinnamon stick and coconut  milk and served with chopped coriander leaves.


In Vietnam it is called Chao Bo and is a rice and beef porridge. The beef is marinated with soy sauce, rice wine vinegar and cornstarch and ginger.
Ingredients
1 Cup uncooked Jasmine rice
1/2 lb ground beef marinated in soy sauce cornstarch and  rice wine.
2 cloves garlic
1 piece of ginger
10 cups of beef or chicken stock
minced onions]and chopped fresh coriander.
Method
 Put oil in a large pan with onions and garlic and add the beef till browned.
Add the stock , ginger , soy sauce and rice.
Turn heat to high till boiling.
Turn to low and simmer till the rice turns to a creamy porridge consistency.
Serve topped with chopped green onions and fresh coriander.

A rice porridge dish that spans many countries and pleases many palates varying only in the use of different accompaniments and the time of day it is served. In some countries it's breakfast and in others lunch and in other places it's dinner and others it's a snack but whenever or where ever it's eaten it is the ultimate comfort food! 

Expat Wives in Korea.

 In both countries in which I was an Expat wife I was sure to take advantage of Expat women's organizations. When you are an Expat wife it is of the utmost importance to make friends and find out what's going on around you in your new home. Your husband would have many people to talk to and opportunities for socializing through work and the children make friends at school but the wives had to make friends and get situated through these Women's organizations. Anyone could join the organizations and clubs even if you were local and not an Expat which made it even more interesting.

As soon as I got to Seoul I was introduced to a Russian lady who had already lived all over the globe through her husband's job working for an international Pharmaceutical conglomerate. As she had lived in Seoul for two years already she was working for relocation company which specialized in cross cultural training for expats and their wives. It was from her that I learned about largest women's organization and other international women's organizations that helped me survive my first year in Seoul.

Living in Germany was such great experience that at first I was determined not to like Seoul and acted like it was a bit of a disappointment. As time passed though I started to like it more and more and realized it was my own fault for listening to negative comments that I felt this way. The Expat women in Seoul seemed to be made up of mostly very positive people who were delighted by the prospect of living abroad and enjoying a new culture but there were others who were very patronizing towards the host country. I used to think to myself that these particular negative women were like mini Empresses who had the world at their feet, lived in unheard of luxury that they would probably not experience back home. All of the children went to international schools that provided them with unbelievable opportunities which some of the families could probably not afford back home.There were couple of very cool ladies I met  including an American who reminded me "there are always going to be haters out there but just don't listen to them and think of all the amazing opportunities to experience living in Asia."

Initially I had the misfortune to live near some very negative Expat neighbors who totally looked down on the Koreans so every morning when I would go out for my walk with my dog to Namsan park I met these women. Often the conversation consisted of how they hated being in Korea and Koreans. I listened to some terrible comments about how one of their Korean teachers expected a lady to give her breakfast when she came to teach her Korean. Oh the horror of it! I come from a very hospitable family so I actually didn't think it was a big deal that the Korean teacher expected a little something when she came for the lesson. The country where this person came from must be very inhospitable was my only thought( it turned out be Canada). As I went on to learn in my five years Koreans are extremely hospitable and where ever you went you would be offered a cup of coffee, a drink or a snack at every opportunity!

So I joined the largest organization and a whole new world opened up for me like Aladdin's cave of treasures and adventures that I never expected unfolded in front of my eyes. The members were from all corners of the globe including England, Russia, Ukraine, Indians, Germany, Sweden, Singapore Australia, Japanese, Spain, you name the country and there was a representation from there. Apart from the usual coffee mornings, information meetings and socials there were classes offered that you could participate in for a small fee. The classes offered included painting classes, international cooking classes, Hanji traditional paper craft, jewelry making, flower arranging to name a few activities. I think by joining this organization my life took on completely new direction and met new people that I definitely would not have otherwise.

There was an opportunity to take some jewelry making classes with an Indian lady (we will call her Ganesha). It was such a great class and I had never done anything like that before and as we were welcomed into the teacher's stunning home I decided to stick with it twice a week. The participants were treated to tea and snacks as we all made the most beautiful treasures with exotically colorful beads and pearls that she collected or ordered from all corners of the world. It was a total surprise to me that I could even do such things and ended up making the most exquisite jewelry. I had really expensive taste and always chose the most expensive pearls and accessories but I did end up making some stunning pieces which I wear to this day.

Another benefit was that the ladies in the class were very interesting people and I learned so much just being with them so I ended up making some really amazing friends. The host of the class was an incredible lady her self. It was obvious that she had lived to travelled all over the world as her furniture was ravishing. For example her dining table which was purchased in Thailand where we worked was made up of unbelievable intricate carvings of animals. It was fascinating just looking at the pictures in the wood carving and this made for endless discussions about furniture, travel and carvings.

When you meet people you never know what part they will end up playing in your life. Our host of the jewelry making class also headed up an American Women's Club and ran an operation called the Thrift shop on the Yongsan Garrison army base. The donations were from the Expat families and the proceeds from the donations benefitted American army families and local Korean charities.

One summer when I left my older daughter to look after and accompany my husband while I was in Europe and the USA with my younger daughter Ganesha gave her a job at the Thrift shop where she managed to sell her clothes on consignment, make friends and get a fantastic reference from her time there. It was a huge relief and comfort for me to know that my oldest daughter was able to use her time so usefully thanks to Ganesha. Also the other women who worked at the Thrift shop with my daughter took her under their wing and looked after her that summer. I will be ever grateful to all of them for the care, guidance and understanding they showed that summer.

There were so many things to do through Seoul International Women's Association and the other international Women's organizations that for the most part the experiences were very positive and a majority of the members were incredibly supportive women, some of whom are my friends to this day. However there were a few incidents that made me realize that a small number of the women used their Expat lives to play little power games through these organizations as if they were the Empresses of Asia with delusions of grandeur and power struggles.

An example was when I became involved in the fund raising efforts of SIWA which organized a massive campaign every year to raise funds for local Korean charities. In itself this was a wonderful gesture on the part of the women involved and I believe it gave them a great sense of purpose to do this. I was really excited to be apart of this effort and thought of it as a great opportunity. However there were two sides to this as I found out as I got more and more involved.  SIWA was run by a group of very some women who had very forceful personalities. You can't be shy or humble to run an organization like that. Yes they gave their time, attending meeting after meeting, giving their ideas, efforts and it was after all for charity and giving back to the country that hosted us.

Volunteering to be fund raiser for the organization was hard work but it felt pretty cool being a part of a sisterhood which showed a positive caring side to our host community in Korea. Donations were raised by soliciting funds from large international corporations including airlines, hotels, banks but also local Korean businesses, to name a few sources. Also the officials and staff of the many Embassies became very involved and donated money to get publicity for their countries.

The first year I helped to raise funds and worked at the giant bazaar and it was great fun followed by a huge dance party and dinner. These were so fantastic that I learned a lot, met some incredible people, had super experiences and felt a part of some thing really worthwhile. At the bazaar I saw what a huge effort is needed to organize these events and also saw the leading personalities of the organization. One of Korea's most famous fashion designers Andrea Kim came to the bazaar, all the embassies came with their international food and goods, such as cheese, olive oil, other hard to find items in Korea. For the most part the ladies who ran SIWA were very approachable, friendly ladies  but there were some absolute drama queens who were lapping up all that their positions gave them as the head of these International women's club and the power trip they were on was incredible to watch along with the show they put on. Expat life and the opportunities it presented was far beyond any thing they would experience back home.

However it was in the second year that some some interesting things happened. In 2010 I was nominated by SIWA to be the special find raiser for Itaewon because I lived there and shopped there. Itaewon was the shopping, entertainment and club are a where the Yongsan Garrison army base was located. It was home to many shops, restaurants and clubs that not just foreigners went to but also Koreans. There was a red light area, transgender bars, ethic shops, jewelry shops, tailors, shoe shops boutiques and numerous eateries.

Due to my friendly nature a lot of people knew me in Itaewon and the SIWA ladies were aware of this fact. However some of the business owners did not understand the concept of fund raising and thought I was nuts while others were totally on board and knew how to get new and loyal customers from the expat community. Even the normally reluctant Bangladeshi shop owners and restaurant owners gave donations and wanted to tell me how they were donating other services to Korea.

 Swallowing my pride,  I did my research and got my materials together such as SIWA monthly magazines, statistics and anything else showing SIWA's efforts in Korea and went down into Itaewon. I did this every opportunity for a few weeks and  the response was pretty great and managed to get such a great response that I got an ovation from the participants of the monthly meetings for the amount of sponsors I managed to get. One lady felt a bit competitive towards me so she also joined in saying that there were places I hadn't covered. She gave me a few more leads and together we managed to raise even more money.

 Between the two of us in Itaewon if I remember correctly we raised $7500! Incredibly that year SIWA raised approximately a staggering $80,000! I was so proud to be a part of this effort and the money was distributed amongst some very deserving Korean charities such as Hospices, children's charities and Orphanages throughout Korea. There was a spread sheet with which fund raiser raised funds from what organization or business and my name and the other person's name was practically on all of the document.

Of course $80,000 is not raised by one person's efforts but my disappointment was that even though I had clearly outdone a lot of people in my fund raising effort that year there was not one mention of my individual work and I was not in any photos of the fund raising team in the special magazine that year. Over and over in the magazine it was photos of the women who were the highest magazine officials and not the people who wandered around Itaewon humbling themselves to ask for donations for Korean charities.

Now you may think I have sour grapes saying this but I know I did a good job because in the following years that I lived in Seoul I was contacted repeatedly by the women of SIWA and other organizations about helping to raise money for their respective charities. I know how valuable I was no matter what happened by the fact that I got phone calls and emails all the time after I started working as a teaching assistant in Seoul and could no longer take part in any voluntary work. The last time I did one of the Empresses of Asia even took credit for some of the funds I raised from merchants in Itaewon on their spread sheet.

For the Expat women who are living Seoul now I would urge you to get involved in everything and join the Expat organizations. Don't be timid as I was if you do good work. Stand up for yourselves if you join any organizations and claim the acheivement that is rightfully yours. Do not let the self proclaimed Empresses of Asia take all the credit just because they are the loudest and forceful.

Worst return on Investment

Asian families seem to want  their children to be doctors, dentists, optometrists or possibly lawyers. Why is it that these are the professions are so coveted by people? Well we know that these are all professions that human beings need to make their lives better. Health is the one thing we can hold up as the  most important thing in our lives however a civilized and caring society needs other professional people to help and support one another. It is true that people in medical professions such as Anesthesiologists, surgeons, obstetricians, gynecologists internists, orthodontists, and physicians in general are seen as GODS in our present society. If you look at any statistics of the top paying professions the list mostly consists of jobs in health care, science related professions, economists, engineers, computer programers and professions linked to money.

 I just read an article on the internet on Salary. com called "8 College Degrees with the Worst Return on Investment". These degrees included sociology, fine arts, Education, psychology and communications. The careers from these degrees included social workers, chemical dependency councillors, copywriters, news reporters, marketing coordinators, human service workers, career councilors, dietitians, teachers, graphic designers, painters, museum research workers, daycare workers. I'm not critiquing the article but what it means to people who are in these professions. The return on investment for a teacher qualifying from a public university is 43% and from a private university is 13%. For a social worker the return on investment is 73% from a public university and from a private university it is only 21%. The median salary is $47, 000!

What do these figures mean for American society and what do they translates into for Americans and in particular for all 3 of my children who are all in this category? The article I mentioned ends with "we know money isn't everything. A lot of people do these jobs and have great and fulfilling careers. But as the cost of education increases it's important to know if you'll get your money's worth."

In a conversation with my husband about what our children have chosen to do for their degrees and careers we reflected on this issue. My youngest child's choice is to do a degree in Social work and attends a private college in the USA where the tuition and costs for a 4 year degree add up to a considerable amount. It was a difficult decision but we decided that we would allow her to attend this university even though it was expensive. It is a decision that requires hard work and discipline on the part of the student but also on our part as parents. My husband has to work hard and I have to be disciplined!

Being in this position made me wonder why is further education in the USA so expensive and how can other countries such as Holland and Germany and other countries afford to give their students free or low cost further education?  In my opinion American students are definitely not getting a better education than students in the other countries. I can safely say this as US employers regularly hire a select number of graduates from abroad to fill certain jobs in engineering and IT related jobs the USA.

 Why do students in the USA have a combined $1trillion in debt? Why has the cost of education in the USA risen so much faster than the overall cost of living? To make matters even more aggravating because of the recession until recently jobs were hard to come by, wages were in decline and overall purchasing power was declining. So even if you invested your money in a 4 year degree the return on the money you spend on the degree was guaranteed to be that great unless you were studying to be a doctor or in one of the professions linked to the medical fields.

I have been attempting to inform myself about this subject and learned that due to State governments cutting back on budgets for higher education State universities had to increase their tuition and charge students more to attend so "instead of each State taking the responsibility for the cost of higher education, the expense was transferred to the students" This happened across the whole country for  example over a period of 20 years from 1990 to 2012 some States like Ohio reduced their funding from 25% of it's budget to a mere 7%! "State university budget cuts continue and are accelerating according to an online article in "Alternet Education" with the heading "How did College Education become so ridiculously Expensive?" The article explains that the public universities increased tuition the elite private universities also raised their tuition so that they could "maintain their status and bring in more revenue setting off a an escalating spiral".
In the three decades that this has happened there have been widening disparities between working class and and middle class families on the one hand and wealthy families on the other. University education is seen as a way out of financial struggles but families struggle between their perceived need for an education and their lack the funds to pay for it. Most US students and graduates can only fund their education by taking out huge loans to get the education they need to keep up with their declining purchasing power.

After reading the articles related to this subject I have come up with the three reasons why the cost of American higher education has spiraled out of control over the last 30 years. I don't believe many Americans think about why the cost of education has spiraled out of control and many haven't a clue what the real reasons are. Many people don't realize it is the individual State governments who have actually perpetuated the situation by cutting State funding towards higher education because they know individuals will swallow the costs.
The second reason is the rising cost of administration and the huge salaries paid to the top officials of US universities who are paid as much as CEO 's international conglomerates and the last reason is money sent on inter collegiate sports programs and facilities such as fancy dorms which do not return much in the way of profits for the universities.

Humorous look at the subject from the internet.

So after learning the true reasons why higher education costs so much more in the USA than anywhere else and having 3 children who were educated here do I look at the money spent on their education as the worst return on my investments? Absolutely not! The education my children have received may not translate to them becoming rich or earning a lot of money but if I have 3 happy fulfilled people who are in professions they enjoy and feel they are being of service to people that will be their greatest accomplishment and my ultimate gratification.
If people really wanted to exercise their democracy they could voice their opinions and lobby the their government and the universities would take notice of them and change things. Also another way to reduce costs is to use a Community college to do some of the credits towards a degree which costs a lot less than doing all 4 years at University level. There are actually many other ways to reduce the costs of college which should be explored such as living in cheaper housing facilities, borrowing text books or renting them rather than buying them. Just a few suggestions that can be further explored.

Third Culture Child.

 A Third Culture Child is defined as "a child who was raised in a culture outside their parents culture for a significant part of their developmental years." If that's correct then my third daughter is not only a third culture child but a 4th culture child.
 When I was growing up in England in the 70's I took French in high school and was fascinated by the thought of traveling there but I never got the opportunity to go to France until I was 21! I believe if I had been able to go to France and stay there for length of time my experience of French culture and ability to speak French would have been so different and so much better. I look back on my time growing up in England and realized that I wanted to be the type of mother who gave her children every opportunity to experience other cultures if it was within my power. So when the time came for us to decide to move to Germany with my husband's job I wouldn't have turned it down for any reason.

With the move to Germany in 2006 my 11 and 16 year old daughters were to attend a school called Frankfurt international School in the town of Oberursel about a seven minute drive from my house in Konigstein. I know the 16 year old was very excited and saw the possibilities but I don't think the younger daughter was so fond of the idea as she was being pulled away from all her friends who she would have gone to middle school with. So instead of starting middle school in Birmingham Michigan where there was hardly any diversity in the population she started at an international school with children from about 50 different countries.
Frankfurt International school was founded in 1961 and is an English language day school located in Oberursel, near Frankfurt am Main. There are about 1800 students from over fifty countries. There
is anther campus in Weisbaden where there are a further 200 students. The faculty of FIS comes from 30 countries.Becoming a part of an international community of students opened up worlds for both my daughters in previously unimagined ways. For example through the extra curricular orchestra program my oldest daughter met Japanese, Scandinavian, Korean and English students. Her perspective went from Michigan to encompass the entire world and her way of thinking about her future was utterly changed.
In what ways you may ask? Unless people take time to travel or have the opportunities to travel it doesn't matter how many text book you read, experience and first hand encounters are the best way to learn about any thing. My older daughter was studying for the International Baccalaureate in Art and they were given the task of having a focus for the ultimate project and end result which was an exhibition. As we were about 7 hours drive from Italy we decided to go to Florence on the children's first school holiday in October.

We went on a week long driving tour of Italy and were able to visit the Uffizi Gallery and Accademia    
museum along with a myriad of other art and cultural monuments in Florence. What an amazing privilege for us all to experience one of the greatest cities in the world famous for its history, Art and culture! I think my daughters were aware of the enormity of this. The younger one had a conversation with an Israeli lady in the Accademia about the naked David statue. I think she was a little overwhelmed and over loaded with the amount of art she saw and seeing Michelangelo's David at the Accademia was the masterpiece of Renaissance sculpture. It was created between 1501 and 1504 by Italian sculptor, painter, architect and poet Michelangelo. American children are not used to seeing giant statues of naked men right in front of their eyes.

My older daughter was especially interested in Renaissance portrait artists and we were able to see the works of artists such as Botticelli, Andrea del Sarto, Fillipino Lippi,  Tintoretto, Leonardo Da Vinci, Mantegna, Raphael, to name a few. She was able see how portrait artists evolved, influenced and grew to leave their immense legacy on the world of art which influenced so many things in European life and culture even today.

Uffizzi Art Museum Florence

This may have inspired the beautiful portraits of her family and best friend which my daughter later went  on to produce for her final IB exam exhibition which eventually lead to her getting a place at the university   where she went on to do her Fine Art degree. I believe the visit to Florence was part of her destiny and she remains an artistic and inspired person because of this experience. She also decided to take a year out and work as an Au pair for a French family and lived in Versailles in Paris. It was pretty certain that had she stayed in Michigan and graduated high school from her Birmingham Public school she would not have lived in one of the greatest cities in the world for a year before going to university.

Our next move was to Seoul, South Korea so my younger daughter went from FIS to another International school along with children from all over the world whose parents were in South Korea working for International and Korean companies. The school she attended was Seoul Foreign School which is a Christian International school in Yonhuidong. Although SFS is a Christian school the students are from all international communities from the Saudi Arabian ambassador's children, the Kuwaiti Ambassador's children, Europeans, Israelis, and Americans.

Seoul

I met a young man at SFS registration who had attended the German School in Seoul but his mother decided to transfer him for his last two years  to Seoul Foreign School because by the time the students were in the upper grades at the German school there were only 100 students left. I asked him how he felt about Seoul and Korea. His answer worried me a little because he was the son of a German Diplomatic father and East Asian mother and had lived in many places also because of his father's work. He stated that Seoul was boring and he couldn't wait to leave! Oh dear! Another friend of mine also told me her son hated Seoul and was not looking forward to living there. I thought to myself well"life is what you make it and if you're bored it's you not your environment!"

Seoul Foreign School was founded in 1912 by seven foreign missionaries and today there are 3 parts to the school with about 1400 students.  There is a British school which begins at Reception to year 9 and is based on the English National Curriculum. The American School begins at Pre K and goes to 5th Grade. The middle school covers grades 6 to 8.  The High school goes from grade 9 to graduation. International General Certificate of Secondary Education is offered as well as the International Baccalaureate. Graduates from SFS are qualified to attend universities all over the world.
 It is the 7th oldest International school in the world. My daughter had 5 years at SFS started out in 2008 as an middle school 8th grader to graduating from the American high school in 2013.

Throughout these 5 years there were so many opportunities that were available to her. Apart from the excellent academic education she would receive through SFS there were many extra curricular educational experience which were available for her broader education. Each autumn all the high school students would be given the chance to take part in Discovery Week courses in Seoul, or travel to different countries throughout the world to take part in trips, service oriented projects, educational, physical and activity trips. In her first year of high school my daughter travelled to South Africa with her school and this trip was one that changed her life. The second discovery week she did a project in Seoul called Cooking and Serving where she learned to cook, prepare and serve food to homeless people. In the third year she travelled to Vietnam and worked with orphan children.

Although SFS is a Christian school the students are from all international communities from the Saudi Arabian ambassador's children, the Kuwaiti Ambassador's children, Europeans, Israelis, and Americans to name just a few nationalities. The parents of SFS students are American and foreign corporate executives, high ranking US army officials,  Foreign Ambassadors, Military Attaches, Korean businessmen who had resided abroad and some Christian missionaries to South Korea.

Many of the students had also lived all over the world and told my daughter stories of their experiences for example one of her best friends was the child of an Ambassador from a Scandinavian country. She had previously lived in Japan where because of her blond hair she had been a famous child model. Many people in the community were envious that my daughters friend was the beautiful daughter of a high ranking European diplomat but to my child it was just her dear friend.

Seoul Foreign School

Another consideration was the fact that this child's formative years were in Seoul. Her influences were K Pop, Korean fashion, her hang outs were Apgujeong, Hongdae and Meyongdong. Amongst her dearest friends were young Koreans who remain her friends and confidantes to this day. One thing I noticed at SFS was that the Expat children,no mater where they were from, and the Korean children socialized together. A vast majority of the Korean children had been born abroad, mostly in the USA and had foreign passports.

Judging from experience with other international schools in Seoul I believe no matter how enthusiastic the staff is and how much money rolls in it is the parents and the students that make the school a positive or negative experience. If the parents are controlling and think they can some how bully the staff into doing exactly what they  think is best for their child and the school gives in there is no way the school will be successful. A school has to think about all of it's students and to carry out it's ultimate goal of educating the whole school it cannot pander to the wishes of particular parents. Also if a school is to call itself truly international the head and management has to be open minded about who the teachers are. How can you call yourself international if a majority of  the teachers are from one country? There should be diversity in the staff even if it means you train them with the particular educational philosophy of the school.

Also there is no easy way for a school to be successful overnight as evidenced in the case of SFS  which was established 102 years ago. It takes time to establish your reputation as a school and the exam results alone do not show how a school will perform in years to come. and what kind of people will come from this school? There are at least 6 other International schools in Seoul and some are newly established. Although SFS is thought to be the best International school in Seoul  and the hardest to get into there were some negative comments being floated around about the school but as a parent I believe the proof is in the end results.

One example were new International schools springing up overnight in the highly competitive International school scene in Seoul. The impression was that because they were offshoots of famous schools from London or New York they would be successful overnight and it would mean the end of SFS. Quoting an article from TES Connect talking about famous UK schools setting up in Korea, Hong Kong and Mainland China with the title "How the gold rush failed to materialize for the UK elites". This article shows that just setting yourself up as a clone of famous schools in the UK or anywhere else in the world does not guarantee success. A school should not be about pleasing local developers and boosting profits. SFS is a not for profit establishment but these new schools which are springing up are based on a premise that if you turn up with a famous name you will be an instant success in the education world. The TES article goes on to say, "A report has poured cold water on the idea that all this country's famous schools had to do was turn up and wait for the pupils to flood through the gates". Only time will tell what will happen to the competition in the international school market but SFS has stood the test of time.

Graduation Ceremony

Going back to my own child's experience at SFS was definitely a positive one filled with struggles of a student studying for her IB's, preparing for the SAT exams but also happy fulfilling and fun times as a teenager in Seoul. I believe when she looks back at her time there she will remember it with great fondness and the benefits of being a student there seem to continue into her university years. She constantly runs into her old school mates from Seoul Foreign School and Frankfurt international school where ever she goes. Also having lived in one of the busiest cities in the world for 5 years of her life meant when she got to New York City for university she adjust with ease into her student life there.

Graduation Day